It's what you call an EP!

So... I finally finished making my EP and after 10 months of working on it, I can finally present it to you and the world for that matter! Of course, a lot was learned, much was accomplished and I am left grateful beyond words, God granted me this gift. To a ton of people who might ever come across my music, may never know it to be more than 5 songs with their own very specific opinion of, but I have 5 songs that are really lessons and growth that will never be expressed in the 20 some minutes it plays in their headphones. So if I may, here's 10 months in 20-some minutes of an EP in a few words….

The music process itself was most enriching. It was a process unfamiliar to me before and taught me much more than just how to produce a EP. It took patience and trust in the process of taking pieces and putting them together. I found myself learning how to have grace on myself for not being perfect. Some weeks I felt very uncomfortable of how it was going to turn out because a lot of it was out of my hands and direction. Other weeks I was would see more pieces come together and would be amazed at how much I doubted the process. When I heard the finished product, a smile so big felt like it was glued on my face from the start of the EP to finish. It was a moment I won't ever forget. It reminded me of the summer I was 15 and picked up a guitar for the first time. I felt a fire inside me burn that I needed to learn how to play guitar with nothing more than a vague feeling that God would use it in the future. That memory along with all the years up until now of  long hours of writing music, many writers blocks, and frustrating moments of getting nowhere with my music were not lost. I have often thought of this spiritual parallel in my life when a lot of circumstances and seasons really seemed meaningless but God has an "EP" of faithfulness where its all woven together for His good. It takes a lifetime to learn to trust God when our doubts make more sense than the truth does. But still, I'm learning.

Another lesson I've learned is expectations of perfection and reality. I sometimes wish I had a more powerful, controlled voice like Bethany Dillon, wrote astounding lyrics like Brooke Fraser, and played face-melting guitar like John Mayer and Josh Wilson. Like many, I am my worst critic because often what is in my head and what is actually real don't always align. Then I compare myself to other musicians and see more errors and flaws in myself. I have continually come back in humility and grace that God has given me what he has for His Kingdom and not mine. He is constantly shaping and molding my heart for His Kingdom, not mine. He wants me to be focused on His Kingdom, not mine. For however long I fix my eyes on my small little kingdom of me, the more sad, small and more hopeless it becomes. But the more I fix my eyes on Him and His Kingdom, the bigger and lovelier it becomes. Another spiritual parallel: "He must become greater. I must become less." Yes, the lies sink in deep crevasses of my life but deeper still there is love of God, faithfully speaking and defending. The critic speaks prettily loudly in my head but louder still is Jesus, the only voice I need to be ultimately yielding to.  

I remember throwing the idea of making a cd around in my head back in September of 2012. I very unsure of what this year would hold. I really had no idea what would come of the risk of putting myself out there musically and really, quite personally. I didn't quite have this ready desire but neither was I opposed to it, so I made a choice to go for it and see what might happen. Of course, being the God  He is, who knew all along, He guided each step, and taught me lessons in each one. He increased my desire to pursue it well, corrected what needed correcting and really affirmed what was good in it all. I speak both spiritually and musically here. It is amazing how God works especially when we don't know. More so when we don't have a clue. That is what is so satisfying about doing this EP. Many have asked me along the way, where I want to go with it. I really don't have an answer for you that might connect point A to point B. I am waiting to see what the next step is God has in-store. I have become very interested in using my music to encourage missionary kids/third culture kids being one and proud to be one. I also have become intrigued at how the depth of what I write has impacted people. I'm not keen on performing and I am one of those non-conformists who would rather shake things up than jump into the traditional artist shoes. BUT Jesus has the trump card and wherever and however he lays it, I'll follow.

I mean it when I say Thank you for being apart of this small chapter, in whatever way you have. I can't wait to see how not just this but ALL the threads and tapestries have been woven together with each chapter of our lives and the things God does in each of them. What a life we have in Christ and we are blessed beyond our imaginations to have the journeys we do because of His life in us!

Blessings,

Rachel

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/secret-on-the-loose-ep/id672328915